I'm getting sick...just in time for my birthday. Whee! I don't know that I have a fever--this thermometer seems to be unbattery-ified--but I do know that I have a rasping cough, a cough that is singularly different from my normal and usual smoker's hack. Verily, this is a kind of cough that is intimating to me that, allowed to fester, it could develop into something far worse, like, say, pneumonia, or sumpin. Talk about a birthday gift! I am going to develop pneumonia and then I will die. On my birthday. Well, hell, at least it's symmetrical! I'm kind of a baby when I get sick. I don't know if it's a guy-thing or not, but I tend to get a little woe-is-me when I catch a bug.(Interestingly enough, through reading 'blogs and comments on said 'blogs, I have read women's reactions to their men getting sick and the general consensus is, though we men may be, for the most part, physically stronger, when it comes to getting sick, we are creampuffs, pussies, wusses, babies...whatever. Is that true? It couldn't be; could it?)
I have some things planned for the day of my birth--Friday--and the following day--Saturday. Said things may include some really really really close-talking and so I'd best not be hacking up a lung whilst kissing the tip of another's nose. That'd be rather...how to say? Unsexy.
When I get sick, I tend to take it out on my body, as if to punish it for "letting me down." I smoke more, I don't get enough sleep, I eat sporadically (as always), and, when I was drinking alcoholic beverages, I would pile on the barley and hops. It was kind of my way of saying to my body, "You wanna fuck with me?! Motherfucker?! Bring it! Say aye-low doo mee leetle fren!" Sensical? Not in the least. Satisfying? You betcha.
As I look out the window, I see blue sky and feathery white clouds and I think to myself, "Shee-it! It's nice out!" No. It's Michigan. It's beautiful to look at but it's still a back-stabbing 'ho. I'll go to work and I'll get stuck on a long job outside and the temperatures will drop further and a wicked wind from the West will blow in and batter my weakened chest and I will fall further ill and I will catch pneumonia and I will die. On Friday. My birthday.
But, hell, at least it'll be symmetrical.
11 comments:
I hope you feel better soon Adam! No fair to be sick on your birfday ;0p Just in case I forget tomorrow Happy 34th Birthday!!! I hope you have a great day/weekend and aren't sick ;0)
Oh, and no dying allowed..says ME ;0D
Be glad Mom doesn't call exactly when we were born (lo these many years ago) because you'd be getting a 3:25 a.m. wakeup call. You might still, mu ha ha ha!
Hacking and sneezing my way through a cold here too. Pneumonia would be a really shitty birthday gift, and I'd probably ask for the gift receipt for bronchitis too.
Might need to hold off on kissing nose tips until you're less germy.
I'm sorry you're sick, Adam. :( I hope you feel better soon, and that you're able to enjoy your birthday tomorrow. By the way.... Happy Birthday!!!!
Damn, I hate it when that happens! :( Sorry Adam!
Yes, men generally are little babies when they get sick. Women, for the most part keep on keepin' on.
Thanks, all! I'm feeling better already. Lil Miss: I didn't die--just for you! =o)
Nighthawk: Is the fact that women keep on keepin' on due to their high threshold for monthly pains? Just wondering.
If I use my father, brothers and husband as examples.... all are BIG babies when they get even a mere case of the sniffles.
But I do hope you feel better fast..... And Happy Happy Birthday! Since this is the internet and I really don't think I can catch your cooties, I'll offer you a big Bday hug. :)
Happy Birthday Adam!
*<]8^)
I don't know. I just think women have too much crap to do and can't afford to just lie in bed and whine--as nice as it would be to do that. I'm glad you're feeling better. :D Now, enjoy your day and have a slice of cake for me.
@ Terry: Thanks fo' da Hoogie! My cooties are so damned powerful, though, I reckon they'll just hop on the Binary Express and say hello right quick-like. Unh-hnn.
[Slingblade]
@ El Nighthawk: Cool little emoticon! You always come up with the good ones! (I'm gonna steal it, make it my own.) I spoke too soon about feeling better, unfortunately...lemme see if I get this right...
Woe is me woe is me woe is me woe is me woe is me woe is me woe is me woe is me woe is me woe is me woe is me.... Sack up, A-Bomb! Quitcher whinin'!
:o)
Oh my goodness! Tell that girl of yours to take good care of you, you already sound all sorts of pathetic ;-) AAAAAND lookie here - its friday and you are still alive and kickin'! Isnt that something? ;-)
It is indeed something, Miss Syl. It is indeed. My girl takes good care of me, fo' shizzle, but I am kinda rockin' the woe-is-me card, right now. But I think to-morrow will be swell. I'm feeling better already!
(Wait. I already said that. :-/)
Post a Comment