Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I NEED SOME HELP WITH WRITER'S BLOCK

I need help. I know not of what to write. If you could, my dear one reader, could you pick one of the starting points below? And I'll try to write a story about it? My mind is molasses; my fingers are cement blocks.

Towards the end, the pull from within had become too great to withstand. So Vernon Palley had just...given in.

Miniature. Everything had become miniature. His forks and knives and spoons. His bed. Shit, even his dog had been traded in to the pet store; in return, he had gotten himself a Miniature Pinscher. As he had shrunk, so too the world with which he'd chosen to surround himself had shrunk.

Strippers and guacamole dip. Reggie would think long and hard before he ever again let those two entities meet.

As a sixth-grader, Sally Rothers had hatched a plan to use 10 M-80s to blow up the ice sculptures in Picadoily Park, in downtown Yerkers, Maine. She'd seen nothing wrong with it then, and now, 15 years later, she maintained her assertion that ice sculptures were the work of the Devil.

Some men buy fancy sports cars or date younger women or slap dead animals on their bald spots to combat their mid-life crises. Johnny Vanderwhal chose to go in a different direction. He started blowing people up. It was his line of work: He was a gas man. He could make them look like accidents.

"Charlie-fucking-Brown, again?! Seriously, Mick, every time I talk to you you're going on and on about Charlie Brown. He's a fucking cartoon character, for Crissake! When are you going to join the rest of us on planet Earth?!" Susan slammed the phone into its receiver and took a long trembling drag on her Virginia Slim. Damn. She still loved the fool. "Gimme a Scotch on the rocks, Todd. Make it a double."

Besmirched, belittled and belligerent, Billy Boxom broke the broom in half and stormed out of fifth-grade classroom, leaving the scarring snickers behind.


12 comments:

Anonymous said...

By all means, beguile us with a tale of Billy Boxum. Perhaps he told tales to the boys of his best bud, a who's a buxom blond?

Nanette said...

The gas man doth bloweth things up me thinks!

Anonymous said...

Terry: Not a bad idea, at all! ;-)

Nighthawk: I can see the title already (and it's obvious): "The Gas Man Cometh".

Okay, I have two votes, one for each story. I need a decider. ;-(

Anonymous said...

I'm the decider. I say The Gas Man Cometh all over my face. :O

Why in the hell would you want GWB to make such an important life altering decision? ;)

Why not flip a coin...save the losing story starter for a rainy day. (As long as I'm not on the losing side)--NH

Anonymous said...

Dubya: GOOD GOOD point! And, Mr. President? I'm sorry that you are such an idiot. I really feel sorry for you, sometimes, when I listen to or see you speak. I--yes--I physically cringe and wince. If you weren't in such a damned important position from which you can and do alter lives, I might take pity on your sorry ass. But, the fact remains that you are an ignoramus with power, a decidely dangerous combination.

That being said, I am swaying in the direction of the "Gas Man Cometh" yarn...with or without facials. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Bukaki, just so you know. Me n Condi like that. :O Oh no I didn't.

I knows how to speak and ter spell. I jus dont no how ta reed.

Melissa said...

I vote for Besmirched, belittled and belligerent. Do it.

(Please)

Anonymous said...

Okay, so now it's two-to-two. I need another vote...or maybe I'll just flip a coin, as has been suggested.

[flips coin; it lands in a champagne glass of bukaki, and slowly sinks to the bottom.]

"Oh no!" he cried, wringing his hands.

That option is no longer open. Anymore votes?

littlemissy555 said...

I like the sound of the first, but "The Gas Man Cometh" sounds pretty good too. I could use a distraction right now ;0)

Anonymous said...

Little Missy breaks the deadlock!!! "The Gas Man Cometh" it is! I'll have it on your guys's desks by 2008. ;-)

Little Miss--Hope you're doing okay.

Unknown said...

I found ya!!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Sylvia! Welcome to the madness! ;O)