Damn. I put myself on the spot! Uh.... Uh....My dog is lying on his back right now, with his feet stuck up in the air! Hahahahaha!
Uh.... Uh....
Wouldn't it be funny if Goofy and Maramaduke and Scooby Doo roomed together and tried to raise a human baby girl on their own, without a bitch? We could call it "Three Cartoon Dogs and a Real-Live Baby." I'm sure it would be a box office sensation. Sensation, I say!
To your right, you will see a ladder. See? ------------------------------------->
Sadly, ladders aren't all that funny. They're pretty utilitarian, if you ask me. Besides, how often have you seen a ladder doing stand-up at the Laff Factory? If you say that you've seen a ladder doing stand-up at the Laff Factory, you're either lying through your teeth or you're on some good gosh-damned psychedelic drugs. Yeah. That, or you're quite mad. Welcome to the meeting; welcome to the table; pull up a chair and enjoy yourself.
Have you ever heard the one about the priest, the rabbi, the hooker, the toaster-oven, the welcome mat, the baseball bat, the dildo, the diaphragm and the sparrow? Yeah. Me either. But I'm sure it'd be pretty funny. But only if a good joke-teller told it. Other than that, the joke would fall flat on its metaphorical face. Seriously. Splat.
This is what is called diarrhea of the fingertips. Nothing of substance is emitted; it's all cloudy and nebulous. (Damn. I think I just grossed myself out. "Cloudy" and "nebulous?" Gag.)
Time to wipe. Peace.
5 comments:
Eww re: diarrhea of the fingertips. Your keyboard must be sticky. Or stinky. Or both.
And - A priest, a rabbi, and a hooker are all floating in a canoe ... Shit, I can't follow through. I'll work on it and surprise you with the joke when you're least expecting it.
And then the hooker turns to the rabbi and says, "No, you freak! I said paddle the water, not me!"
And the red-faced priest looks to the heavens and crosses himself and takes a hearty swig of Wild Irish Rose.
And they all live happily ever after.
Bah-dah-dum!
Even your diarrhea is intriguing ;)
I won't even try my hand at a joke, I leave that to the professionals!
You're right, I've never seen a ladder doing stand-up comedy...but I thought I saw one working at the grocery store...I think.
Nighthawk--Thou doth protest too much! Blast out a knock-knock joke if you must!
Rockdog--Was that a union job? Because, from all that I've heard and read, ladder's tend to be vehemently pro-union. And most grocery stores don't have unions. You may have seen a scab ladder, the lowest of the low, just a step above a footstool. Dude.
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