...And I'm a coffee-aholic."
"Hi, Adam!"
This is ridiculous. I went without caffeine for ten days and, once I'm sprung from my benevolent prison, I go nuts with the coffee. It all started when I was getting a ride home from a friend from the clinic and we stopped at a Caribou Coffee to garner some joe. I got something called a Turtle Chino, or some shit like that, and--bam!--it was off to the races. This is ridiculous and this is amazing.
I do believe that I would be better off to simply install a coffee IV into my veins. It would be quicker, that way. Cigarettes and coffee: Sustinence of champions.
I've drank so much fucking coffe during the last two-three days, I've had the equivalent of three or four good solid coffee enemas. "Solid" might be a misnomer. Believe me, it's nothing for which one would hope. On the plus side, if there were any toxins left in my body, they're long-gone, now! Buh-bye.
I wonder if caffeine would be classified as a "mood-altering" drug. At the 'Grove, the techs told us that we--the patients--would never be able to injest a mood-altering drug safely for the rest of our natural-born lives. I'm, uh, starting to see what they meant.
Too, does the computer count as a mood-alterant? This is what I have done for the last two-three days, in order of frequency: Smoked, drank coffee, banged on the computer keyboard, eaten oh-so-sporadically and gone to Anonymous meetings.
I am so damn Jacked-up on caffeine right now, I'm halfway up the fucking beanstalk. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Thanks.
Have you ever seen, Dear Reader, that "Seinfeld" episode in which Kramer settles a lawsuit with a coffee place out of court for a lifetime's worth of expressos? "WhatamItalkingfast? Idon'tthinkI'mtalkingfast. Maybealittle." And then he speedwalks down the sidewalk and the studio audience chortles with laughter?
Well, it's funnier on the boobtube.
My poor assaulted stomach is looking up my esophagus and wincing. "Get ready, large intestine," it says, "we've got MIGs at 12 o'clock." And then both the stomach and the large intestine pop open fruitless Wile E. Coyote cartoon umbrellas and brace for the worst. A waterfall of java cascades down the chute and drenches them both. "Reinforcements! Reinforcements!" screams the stomach. The small intestine clambers to their sides and offers its help. "Piss off, kid," says the large intestine, "you're too little."
Anyhoo.
Have you ever drank so much caffeine that your eyes begin to come unfocused? It's kind of trippy, in a way.
Fuck this. I'm gonna switch to decaf.
7 comments:
I love me some coffee too...but not that much. I used to drink so much coffee that I really think I became immune to the caffeine buzz. We used to go to a diner and drink mass quantities of coffee late at night and go home and go right to sleep...I am so odd ;0)
shit. i'm kinda immune to it, too. but my tummy ain't. ;-)
i used to be able to drink straight up till midnight and then fall asleep like a lamb. and i can still do that, to a certain degree, but, yeah, decaf is probably the way to go.
Decaf might be a good idea. Can you tell the difference? Is it the flavor or the caffeine jolt you're looking for? You went ten days without, so what would you be missing?/
It's the jolt I'm looking for, but, shit, not THIS much jolt! Yes. Decaf 'twill be.
By George you've got it! When I was doing a lot of searching for information that could help me understand my messed up circadian rhythm, I came across some research concerning the computer (the light emitted from the monitor) and the effects it can have on our wake/sleep cycle and ...ding! ding! ding!....you got it...our dopamine levels! I too seek, sometime with awareness sometimes without, mood alterating substances...devices...whatever you want to call each of them. It comes in different forms for me. And I will often cycle thru the different ones that I'm familiar with. Or maybe even have a few going at the same time. Right now for me it's been primarily the computer. Again. Only this time chatting with others isn't what I'm involved in. It's a damn computer game. Speaking of that...I'm ending this and going to see if the game server is back up. *sigh* It's also time to take some Ambien which enables me to sleep at night but I have to be careful because I do like the high from it if I take more than what's needed to help me sleep. From one addict to another: Hi Adam. I agree...as cliche as it may sound, one day at a time is very important. I've had times when it's not one day at a time but one moment at a time. And now I shall say, I'm really glad about the rehab. Do what it takes. Rock on and Goodnight!
Adam....fyi....folgers makes a coffee that is easy on the stomach, it is right on the label. My husband drinks it and avoids the crapper ;)
thanks nan! ;-)
cheryl--You write as though you live in Missouri. If so, HEY! HOW YA DOIN'?! LONG TIME NO HEAR! :-) So the light from the computer monitor affects our dopamine levels? Wow. I'm assuming that it drops said levels, right? No wonder I always feel so damned fatigued after a long writing session! And it is most definitely a mood alterant. Hey, write me an email when you can and let me know how you're doing. By the way, what computer game are you hooked on? Peace.
(By the way. Be careful with that Ambien. I think Eminem got hooked on it. It can be a bitch sometimes.)
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