Sunday, December 14, 2008

"THE RUBBER BANDS ARE HEADING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION"

And what, exactly, does that mean? Meagan and Naomi and I went to the Oceania Inn tonight for dinner--I had the Szechuan Shrimp--and my fortune cookie told me that the rubber bands were heading in the right direction. That is great to know, Confucious, but what rubber bands are you even talking about? I mean, I could get my head around it if I, for instance, wore orthodontic braces that required the use of small, ultra-tight rubber bands to keep my teeth in line, but I was in that place and did that thing about 20 years ago, now.



If I were one who collected rubber bands and used them to make a giant Ball o' Bands then that fortune would have relevance, too. But I don't. What kind of a freaking fortune is that?!


The rubber bands are heading in the right direction. I don't even know where to start with those wise words o' wisdom. I never really even use rubber bands. That picture up there is just a representation of how important I find rubber bands to be. (That picture is about a year old; Meagan and I were just clowning around and, in this picture, you can definitely see that the rubber bands are not heading in the right direction.)


But now maybe they are. Maybe that's what the fortune gods were trying to tell me: that Meagan and I are on the right path, the path that we have been destined to travel--together. Maybe now the rubber bands are heading in the right direction because we have found each other (better late than never) and, though things may be rough every once in a while, together we can conquer pretty much everything. Does that sound like what the fortune means? I think, yes.


Either that, or the fortune writer was tripping balls that day, all loaded up with lysergic acid, and his obsession with rubber bands bled into his day job.

52 comments:

Melissa said...

I can't speak to what your fortune meant (odd, odd fortune), but Jesus does your ear look unusual in that photo. The lobe is so ... folded.

gummy said...

I think you read it right on ... the road is elastic, never exactly what you think it will be, always the chance it'll break or slip and snap the hell out of a sensitive place you've been protecting. But at least in your case, at least for now, they are all heading in the right direction. For a lot of the rest of us we can't count on that alignment. But you ... you're golden. Enjoy the moment. Leverage the opportunity. Make it work for you!

bunny said...

Maybe it just means that no one is pointing any at you?

The world of pain that can result of having an elastic band pinged at you will not be yours to know :)

Adamity_Bomb_Bomb said...

Melissa: Yup. And the close-up of said lobe is even funnier. There's a pic of it on my Flickr site. It looks a little like...something else. ;-)

Gum Master: Nice analogy, sir. Maybe you were meant to write (or at least translate) fortunes. I also like how you worked in the "golden" angle. =)

Bunny: Ping! Zing! Zap! Baaaaatmaaaaannnnn! You know, shooting elastic bands at others can be very dangerous and it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. :-O

The Girl You Don't Bring Home to Momma said...

I think they were high when typing up the fortune. Maybe they ate too much cat that day.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Sooo much better than knowing that your rubber bands are heading in the WRONG direction!

Always the silver lining.

Suldog said...

Yours certainly tops mine.

I got one the other day that said, "When the time comes, take the first one on the right." That's as specific as anything I ever read from a fortune cookie.

Yours, however, sounds as though the mushrooms in the chow yoke weren't shitaake, if you know what I mean.

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Momma-Girl: They were high as fuck. Indubitably. The cat, though? That's stretchin' it; I think they prefer dog. Or not. :)

Lesbian, Really: Thanks for the silver lining! :-D

Suldog: Welcome to the blog. "When the time comes take the one on the right." Wow. That is specific. I wonder if the people who write these fortunes get off on making people scratch their heads when they read them. LOL

JenBun said...

Dude. Follow the rubber bands.

Maithri said...

LMAO!!!

Adamity_Bomb_Bomb said...

Buns o' Jen: Thank you for the sage advice, my dear.

Maithri: =o)

Me_Again said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Me_Again said...

I remember that night.
Playing with rubber bands and bandanas and you fell in love.
And I already knew.
We are silly together.
Thank you for giving me some of the best...

V

V

Belly laughs I've experienced =-O

Adamity_Bomb_Bomb said...

Meegie: Silly and definitely meant for each other. I love you like no other and I am so happy we found each other. You're right: that night was a true barometer of chemistry. Our laughs passed the test.

:-)

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