Wednesday, January 23, 2008

"WHAT? DO I AMUSE YOU?"

So says Joe Pesci in one of the--if not the--greatest gangster flicks ever, Goodfellas.

Do you ever get the feeling that someone is looking at you and silently following a comedic interlude inside their head, in which you are the buffoonish lead act? I do. I don't get that feeling nearly as much as I used to, but I still occasionally want to leap onto the counter (or table, or chair) and burst into my Pesci imitation. "What? Do I fucking amuse you? What am I? A clown? Huh? You seem like you're having a grand old motherfucking time, there, laughing at my expense. No, that's cool. If I amuse you, that's just fucking dandy. But maybe you should pay me for being the clown act. Because I really wanna know: am I just a clown, here, goose-stepping around strictly for your motherfucking amusement?! Answer me, Henry!"

Okay. So I wouldn't call the person Henry...unless, of course, his name really was Henry.

[Henry is Henry for the Henry Hill in the movie Goodfellas, based off of the book Wiseguys, written by Henry Hill, a former member of a New York-based Mafioso Family to which he turned the screws and sang like a yellow parrot.]

I digress.

I bring this up because earlier tonight I went to the late-night liquor store to procure a pack of smokes. It was late, so I just threw on some brown slippers and, wearing my cobalt-blue pajama bottoms and a green sweater (and a knit hat and a brown leather jacket) I stepped carefully into the car and drove the block or three down the road. The kid in the store was sitting over by the cases of beer, talking to his buddy with the heavy eyelids, and when I walked in, he looked up and started towards the counter.

"How you doin'?" he asked, pleasantly enough, as I walked to the counter.

I said, hey, what's up, man, and something in his face changed. He went from open and ready to sell me my cigarettes to, in my opinion, tense and guarded. I asked for a "pack of American Spirits, blue," and he walked over to the cigarette section and grabbed my pack and brought it back to the register.

"That'll be [price redacted], sir," he said, all professional, now. As I gave him the money, I glanced up at him and saw him looking over at his friend and smirking. I've seen the look before. It's annoying. What the fuck about me is so gosh damned amusing, you son-of-a-pup?! Is it the slippers?! Get over it.

Anyway. I'm tired now. It'll be another night of short shitty sleep. I just felt the urge to relay this story to the masses. Why? Who knows. It just bugs the everlovin' shit out of me to be laughed at, or mocked, in any way. I'm pretty sensitive; it's a character flaw. Maybe I need to grow thicker skin. Maybe I need to sprout a duck's ass and just let the slights roll off the back like so much water. Whatever.

Current mood: Annoyed.

:-P

17 comments:

Heather said...

Aww, honey, are they picking on you? Take Lou with you next time - he'll set em straight.

Nanette said...

You should have acted like a crazed mental patient and started pushing stuff off the counter....ya, ya, then who would get the last laugh. Well, after you paid for the smokes though, so that you'd have them in hand while running out of the store laughing. (Nah, I wouldn't do that either, hmph, I would just think about doing it while I shuffled back to my car in my slippers)

Jay said...

I've gotten pretty used to people looking at me like I'm some kind of weirdo. I don't let it bother me anymore.

oestrebunny said...

It's just young people, they're rude bastards.

autumnanjel said...

sensitive people are more caring of others. It is a curse and a gift all in one package.

Melissa said...

Did you have a booger hanging from the end of your nose or something? :)

Frankly, it sounds like they were just high or something. Screw it.

Adamity_Bomb_Bomb said...

Heather: Yes! **sniff sniff** =(

Nanny: LOL Yeah, I shuffled out. Fudge it. It ain't worth my bother no never mind. Huh? :-|

Yeah, but, Jay, that only happens when you;re in the car by yourself, talking to your camera, right? :-P

Bunny Bleu: B-but...*you're* young , too, ain'tcha?! ;-)

Lisa: I like how neatly you summed that up, madam. Your middle name should be "Succinct." Lisa Succinct Whoosis. It just rollllllls off the tongue. =o)

Melmac the Great: I may have, I may have. I often do, you see, have boogers striving to meet the outside world. :-O I definitely think the heavy-lidded dude was high. I say that with 92.8% certainty.

oestrebunny said...

:) Ok, well young people in general then.

Nanette said...

TAG! You're it A! Hee hee! Smut meme has your name on it.

Anonymous said...

Next time just growl at him! LOL That'd be funny. I know what you mean though, I'm the same way...I'd probably have left crying cuz I'm such a baby like that! Chin up, you rock!

Sugar Kane said...

I'm with Nanette. But switch the leather jacket for a robe.

Adamity_Bomb_Bomb said...

Scottish Buns: Duly noted, little miss. =o)

Nighthawk: Uh-oh. Are you sure you want to read that?! :-O

Tizz: Woof! Grr. Sholee.

Suge Knight: Yep, the baffrobe woulda been better.

Caleal said...

...I like Casino better.

But that's just me. :)

M@ said...

You should be laughing at HIM. His job is to sell you cigarettes. That's not exactly status.

Adamity_Bomb_Bomb said...

Caleal: You liked 'Casino' better?! Well, they're both great movies, but how the hell do you top Pesci and his clown speech? =o)

M@: Good point. ;-) Then again, his father owns the store so he'll probably be tooling around in a Lexus or something in another couple o' years. (But that is neither here nor there.)

Me_Again said...

Don't sweat the small stuff.
On a positive note you gave him something to laugh about and laughter is good! I know people laugh at my fashion faux pas and I like it. Let's play dress up and go out soon!
But I know whatcha mean by annoying =0)

Adamity_Bomb_Bomb said...

"Let's play dress up and go out soon." Count me in, Meagan. =o)

And, yeah, that's just fan-frickin-tabulous that I could make the jerk laugh. And without even trying! Now *that* is talent! ;-P