Today at work I was standing in the meeting room before work and I saw a pink piece of paper on the table. Seeing as how I work at the gas company and pink is usually not a piece of paper but the punchline to a joke, I picked it up and examined it. It was some kind of pricing sheet, listing the prices of chocolates and treats and the like."Chocolate covered oreo's" and "chocolate covered strawberry's" screamed at me from the pinkness. I was in an odd mood, I admit. There was a pen lying nearby, so I used said pen to circle the misplaced apostrophes and draw a line to the phrase that I wrote: "not needed."
Later, as I was out at the truck, doing the pre-trip inspection, one of my coworkers, a fine-looking woman in her mid-40s who smokes like a chimney and possesses a gravelly voice, walked up to me and shoved the paper in my general direction.
"Did you do this?" she demanded.
"Uh, yessssssss?" I said hesitantly.
"That's great," she said. "Just great." She glared at me. "Did you even read the whole thing?"
I studied the pink sheet of paper. "Lymphoma" and "leukemia" leapt off the page at me. I felt a sinking feeling in my gut.
"There are only a limited number of these printed out, Adam," she said. "This is a fundraising sheet for blah blah blah blah."
Truth be told, I didn't really process what the fundraiser was for. I felt like a real shitheel and so my ears kind of tuned out the rest of what she was saying. I figured I'd read it more in detail later. The sinking feeling in my gut intensified.
"Really nice, Adam," she barked. "Really nice. Just don't fucking touch it again."
And, with a disgusted shake of her head, she stomped off, heeding not my lame "sorry."
Whoops. Let this be a lesson. Pretend not to see glaring grammatical errors and, if that is simply not possible, for God's sake, don't break out the correction pen.
I think I'll be buying some strawberry's and oreo's tomorrow.
(Then again, this woman has the supremely ergonomically-placed ability to be a queen bee bee-yotch, so it wouldn't even surprise me if she turned me and my money away. And blasted me with another F-bomb.)
11 comments:
HAHAHA! Too funny! That sounds like something that I'd have looked at and mentally corrected and possibly laughed about, but that fact that you actually FIXED the errors is quite hilarious! I love it!
I was just complaining today about a typo on the sign at a strip club! lol. It really does drive me nuts, but I've certainly stuck my foot in my mouth more than once by trying to correct people!
Ugh! That sucks--but she didn't have to be so fucking bitchy.
That's what you get for a being a grammar Nazi. ;-)
Spork: Yeah, I had (have) second thoughts about doing what I did. It wasn't TOO egregious, but it certainly was a little smarmy.
Muirnie: Yeah, people tend to get a little preturbed sometimes. I had this friend that I corrected on more than one occasion and he always said, "Yeah, but you knew what I mean, right?" Indeed I did.
Nighthawk: True. Amd truer. (Or is it "more true"? ;-))
J-Jay: Yes. I know. I was duly admonished. :-P (Next time--if there is one--the least she could do is spank me, you know?)
Oops!
Oh well, no harm done.
Naw. At least this: No harm INTENDED. :-\
Glad I'm not in your shoes
Whoops!
Did she seriously talk to you like that!?!?! That was uncalled for. After all, we are not perfect. And there is a wrong and right way to talk to people. You are right, she is the supreme queen biotch. Loved the blog btw...
And I love the pic. "I has a grammar!" LOL!
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