Saturday, August 25, 2007


The horror of the blank white sheet of paper. Appease the beast. Write whatever comes into your mind, kemo sabe....

I was looking at my home page a few minutes ago and I saw a story about a hot air balloon in British Columbia that caught fire whilst on the ground and then, breaking loose from its tether, floated up into the air and burst into flames before shooting off like a sputtering balloon and exploding into an RV park. Two people were unable to jump from the craft and subsequently died from burns. Eeeesh. Good God, I thought that hot air balloon rides were supposed to be nice and relaxing, a meandering float above picturesque villages, a ride that renders towns below quaint postcards. You don't expect to be involved in Hindenburg '07 when you clamber aboard a balloon. Thoughts and prayers.

And now, without an appropriate segue (but how can I segue from that?), I am fiending for NFL football. I drafted a team for one of my Fanatsy leagues yesterday. We drafted at a bowling alley right down the road from work headquarters. Many people enjoyed alcoholic beverages; I, nearing my ninth month of sobriety, enjoyed a few Nordics, Labatt's non-alcoholic brew. (If I may be so bold, if you are ever going to drink a non-alkie beer, this is the one to drink. Stay faaaaaaaaaar away from O'Doul's. Stuff tastes like tonic water mixed with wheat germ...not a good taste.)

Anyway, for all two of you NFL geeks out there who read my drivel, what follows is the result of my sober draft. Team Monkey is as follows: At quarterback, I have Donovan McNabb with Matt Hasselbeck as his backup. At running backs I have Joseph Addai and Rudi Johnson with Cedric Benson and Marion Barber III as their backups. I drafted a shitload of wideouts, for some reason. In this league, we start three every week, but I still, for some unknown reason, drafted four backups. Anyway, here are my starters: "Terrible" Terrell Owens, Larry Fitzgerald and Darrell Jackson. I'll be shifting the receivers each week, according to the matchups, but here are my backups: Braylon Edwards, Greg Jennings, Matt Jones and the still-speedy and earnest octogenerian Isaac Bruce. At tight end, I selected Chris Cooley from the Redskins. My defense is the Carolina Panthers and my place kicker is Josh Brown from Seattle.

I like my chances. It's basically a work league--all eight of us in the league work at Consumers Energy. There were some foolish selections, such as Drew Brees going 14th overall and Frank Gore being selected before Joseph Addai. But...that shit happens, right? Right?!
I stayed true to the two-stud running back strategy and I am very happy to have gotten--for all intents and purposes--three starting running backs who are not subject to the platoon system on their respective teams.

Okay...wipe the Fanatsy Football Geek Juice (F.F.G.J.) off of the screen.


Sylvia said...

As you know I love me some football but I've never really got into the whole fantasy football thing though.
That said, nice team you got there buddy :-)

Melissa said...

Sports, sports, sports, sports. No idea what any of what you wrote means, but best of luck!

And that is a terrible hot air balloon story. Those poor people.

buxindi said...

sorry, but when i read your draft choices, my eyes glazed over like they do when i read an insurance policy. but knowing you , i am sure you picked a great team. however, i can say that my eyes blazed when i heard about last night's tiger's game and wept because i wasn't able to watch it...imagine, starting a game at 11 pm and ending at 3:30 am. anyway, sorry we couldn't continue tonight to do as well. there is always manjana (sp?).

Tirzah said...

Ew, geek juice. When mixed with a healthy dose of football, it makes me kinda queasy! :|

Nanette said...

Nice segue there A! ;)

Since you have chosen one of my boys, I own the Redskins--in case you didn't know, you will be sure to lose. My luck is nothing but bad. Now, wouldn't you like to ride in my beautiful balloon? (It only sounds dirty, it is a song that my mother used to listen to while cleaning the house. Then again, it just might be the dirtiest song evah.)
Oh, and whoohoo on almost nine months free from the beast!

(I'll go on...since this is my longest comment ever, anywhere.)

Ok. I will leave now.

The One and Only A said...

Sylvia: I'm hoping, I'm surely hoping.

Mel: It means that if I don't win the league, I'll be surprised. =o]

BooBoo: "Manana." And, yeah, I couldn't believe that they played till 3:30 in the morning, but, hell, at least they won! =o}

T-zah: Point taken and duly noted. It does actually sound kinda sick. :-O

Nighthawk Nan: You leave as long a comment as you want to leave, grrrrl. :-) You own the 'Skins, hey? Cool. Can you get me some tickets? I'll behave, promise.

Jay said...

Eight team leagues are fun cause everybody is going to end up with two decent RBs and a really QB. Unless there is a complete freaking moron in the league of course.

I have Philip Rivers at QB and my two RBs are Larry Johnson and Travis Henry. My back up QB is DeShaun Foster. I'm more than a little worried about my RBs. I picked 3rd and seriously considered passing on LJ and going with Maroney from NE. I'm wishing I had now. But the peer pressure to pick LJ was just too much.

The One and Only A said...

Jay: Yeah, all the talk is about how LJ has been overworked and his line isn't as good as it was and he's got a crappy quarterback...but he's still Larry Johnson. You'd have to have balls the size of Brazil to take Maroney over Johnson. I think Johnson is going to have another stellar year.

Time will tell, though. ;-)

Oh, and if Deshaun Foster plays quarterback, lemme know. On the plus side, at least that way he would be able to avoid injury past the sixth game of the season. ;-)

Autumnanjel said...

I just wanted to say that I'm very proud of you for your choice in brew. Temptation did not conquer you! Also, with Labatt's, you can never go wrong. Peace.

Jennifer said...

Congrats on your 9 months Adam!! Thats huge!! Keep on keepin' on :)

Jay said...

OOPS .. my backup QB is Trent Green ... Foster is my backup RB.

I know Trent Green is 50 years old but the only other option was Jake Delhomme and he and Rivers have bye weeks the same week. She he's out.

The One and Only A said...

Thanks Jen and Lees. I appreciate your encouraging words. =o]

Jay: I thought Trent Green was 52...I guess I was wrong. Here's something funny: In that league that I wrote about, one guy selected a tandem of Trent Green and Brett Favre. I think someone forgot to mention that it's not 1997 anymore and that Favre and Green are a combined age of...oh...79. Dat's old, yo.