LIFE TAKES...SILENT COMPUTER ADS THAT DON'T POP UP

"I was checking my account online--the one that's tied to my Visa debit card...."

And so begins the explanation of the trials and tribulations of a handsome African-American woman named Lisa V. (is she in AA?), who coordinates projects to earn her living. See, what happened was that she was checking her account online, you know, the one that's tied to her Visa debit card, and--lo and behold!--she noticed a withdrawl of $800! She found that to be odd--she didn't remember withdrawing 800 bones--but, as it was late at night, she simply went to sleep and figured that she would check on her account--ONLINE!--again in the morning.

Imagine Lisa V.'s chagrin when she woke up--and checked her account online, the one that's tied to the debit card--to discover that, not only was that primary $800 withdrawl still showing, but also--like Mickey's brooms--it had three clones! When all was said and done, Lisa V. was responsible to the tune of $3200! As Pink Floyd sang on The Wall, "This. Will. Not. Do!"

So Lisa V. called her Visa Helpline, disputed the charges, and, through the Grace of Visa, was able to impregnate this sad sob story with a burst of Justice. Whee! And, verily, she does a happy jig at the end, her heavy breasts swing to and fro.

Here's my point: I don't give a fuck, Lisa V. But I was forced to watch. The reasons are twofold: One, my mouse-to-hand coordination had the audacity to move over Lisa V.'s little rectangle atop my home page. That shit happens. I should have moved my mouse quickly, as if burned, and gone about my business. But I couldn't. I was transfixed by both Lisa V.'s homespun handsomeness and also by my morbid curiosity. What had happened? I wondered. How had someone gotten her personal information? That matters not. What mattered was that I was hooked, and nonplussed--bemused?--that I was hooked.

Here is how that advertisement succeeded, on many levels: One, it popped up with very little effort on my part. Two, it relayed to me, anecdotally, that Lisa V. was able to check her account online--convenience--the one that's tied to her Visa debit card--multiple accounts; fine name dropping of Visa; ultra-convenience. Three, it features a down-to-earth pitchwoman; we can relate to her normality. She's not homely and she's not too pretty; she has good features--her handsomeness and her voluptuousness--and she has features with which many of us struggle--her weight and lack of fashion sense. Basically, she is the Everywoman, warts and all.

Here's how the advertisement failed: I don't want to have to give a shit about Lisa V.'s problems! I don't want to have to care! But I do--I am a simple human, with basic human emotions--and so, yes, I do. But this heavyhanded massage of my fragile emotions by VISA make me want to spit fire and howl at the moon! (!!!) Damn you VISA! Damn you to hell for making me care! *sniff*

That's all. Good day.

=)

P.S.--Life takes Visa.... Argh!