ADVANTAGES OF MA'S COOKING

I went to my parents' house tonight for dinner. My Mom cooked Chinese chicken stir-fry, a dish at which she excels. The chicken is tender, the vegetables are always perfectly cooked and mixed with sesame oil and she also has a kick-ass chili-garlic hot sauce that some of her Chinese friends gave her.

It always nice to visit the beloved parents and also get a kick-ass free meal in the deal. I'm not much of a cook, so I'll take it when I can get it.

There is another advantage to going over to the 'rents house to stuff my face: they just got a new neighbor. She's a girl named S___, born in Indiana, who works for GM (I think) and who just got a puppy. The puppy is named Nina, and she's an 11-week-old American Bulldog.

I think S___ is single. I hope S___ is single. Though--in all honesty--I wouldn't be able to believe that she is single. She's cute as hell, very personable, has a really nice little body...what was I talking about again? Oh yeah. I was hoping that Miss S___ is as unattached as an island and is looking for love...or at least companionship.

The last couple times I have gone over to my parents', S___ has appeared magically at the privacy fence seperating the yards, with little Nina in her arms. I welcome the sight. She is always wearing athletic gear, which leads me to believe that she is into keeping fit. That's a good thing. I, too, like to keep fit! It's a match made in Heaven!

And we both have dogs! What are the odds?!

So, anyway, I was just about to head home after eating the blessed stir-fry and getting my ass kicked by my Mom in Trivial Pursuit (I'm a friggin' bad-ass, I know), when I--or rather Lou--noticed that Miss S___ and Nina were in their backyard, on the deck. Lou was whining, so I figured that they were outside and I opened the back door and Lou tore across the patio to the old brick fireplace which he scaled in a single bound and stood up against the privacy fence, his tail wagging madly.

I tucked my camera in my pocket (must always keep posterity in one's thoughts) and jammed my brown Detroit hat on my freshly-shaved head and sauntered outside, my face split with a grin. We shot the shit for a little bit and then S___ asked me if I thought Lou might want to play a little bit with Nina. Sure, I said, and reached up to the fence to take the proffered puppy.

Right away, of course, Lou was frantically jumping at me, on me, through me, trying to get at Nina and commence Play-Time. I was staggering around with the puppy in my hands, trying to find a swatch of grass that wasn't brindled by Lou. It was difficult. Lou is an energetic dog when it comes to playing with other canines, so every step I took was matched ten-fold by El Luis. Finally I'd had enough of the manic circling and I kind of hip-checked Lou out of the way and put the puppy on the ground.

They call Boxers Boxers for a reason. Swat! Bat! Bonk! Lou was having his way with the baby dog. He wasn't hurting her, of course, but he was waaaaaaaay too quick and strong and motivated for her to keep up. I broke out the camera--set on high-speed shutter--and tried to get a few snaps of the hijinks. S___ and I were laughing and I was trying to get some pictures and keep the perros seperated a bit and, seeing how I am not an octopus, I was having some troubles. Nina ran behind me, using me as a shield, and I spun around, trying to get an overhead shot, when she raced through my legs and Lou tried to follow.

Lou--seventy pounds of motivated brindle-muscle--knocked my left leg slightly askew and, as I tried to compensate, knocked my right leg out from under me. I scrabbled at a bush with my left hand and strove to keep my camera safe with my right, all the while trying to regain my balance. It didn't work. I went down, with an impotent snatch of green bush in my hand. I landed on Lou and briefly thought that I might be able to use my dog as a tool to regain my balance, thus saving myself the embarrassment of falling on my kiester in front of a girl whom I would like to impress. Yeah. Didn't happen. Lou shifted and so my weight shifted and I ended up meeting terra firma, firsthand. Or, actually, ass-hand. Ass-first. Whatever.

Ass-over-applecart. Down goes Frai-sha! Down goes Frai-sha! Um. Down goes Adam! Miss S___ laughed. I can't say that I blamed her. Seeing people fall is funny, sometimes. Anyway, I got up, brushed of my ass, and ribbed her for laughing at me. "I could have been seriously hurt," I admonished, laughing. We chatted for a few more minutes and then she went inside.

I think I'm going to be sampling my Mom's cooking a little more, now. =o)