Monday, May 28, 2007

"ADAM DESIRES..."

I found this meme through Jay. I substituted "desires" for " needs." I copyed and pasted 10 out of the first 15 results. Just Google your name and needs or wants in quotation marks. Hijinks and hilarity shall ensue.

1. A.D.A.M. desires to grant additional distribution rights in the Licensed Products into the K-12 education market.... And, after that? I'll open up my own special line of charter schools, ones in which Gym will occupy most of the day and mathematics shall be optional!

2. ADAM desires to publish, certain multimedia computer software products containing images owned by ADAM. Sometimes, life is like a snake eating its tail. Where does one begin and where does one end?

3. The mutual exchanging of names has always been an important precondition for such intimacy as Adam desires. Call me crazy--no, don't--but I tend to like to know the name of the women with whom I exchange amorous overtures.

4. Adam desires to know more, and asks how disobedience first came into Heaven. It was because of that temptress Eve, methinks. "Have an apple," she purred. How the heck was I going to resist that?

5. Adam desires to maintain contact with an older brother who is in a separate placement. Adam has undergone surgery to repair an ear that was malformed. :-O Amazing! I had no idea that I had an older brother! Mom? Dad? Why didn't you ever tell me?! Were you ashamed of him? Were you ashamed of me?! And why don't I remember the ear-surgery?! What is the matter with me?! To where have my synapses fled?!

6. Adam desires very strongly to avoid confinement in New York State prisons. :-O I wouldn't last a week. I'm too pretty.

7. Adam desires—again—to 'live less' in his mind. You got that right! It gets crowded in here!

8. Adam desires ice cream, but is told the shops are closed. His response: "Damn you." It's like this: I ask nicely; all the time, I ask nicely. I just want some fucking ice cream. Period. Is that so wrong? But, no. They belittle me! They sneer at me and talk down to me, like I'm some ignorant fool who doesn't know his ass from his elbow! "The stores are closed, Adam. No ice cream for you, you nimrod. Here. Have a carrot. Eat a beet. Forget about the ice cream." I think that I'm being very very controlled when I simply say, "Damn you." I could say oh-so much worse.

9. First, Adam desires nurture at the sight of fruit: "fairest fruit that hung to the eye/ Tempting, stirred in me sudden appetite." There is something quite sexual about this.

10. Adam desires vengeance on Arthur after he finds him with Hetty. Well, hell yeah! There's a reason I call her, phoenetically, "Heady." Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.

17 comments:

Nanette said...

That's a good one! :)

Heady! ;P

The One and Only A said...

Good ole Heady! 8O)
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The One and Only A said...

Dammit. Damn formatting! >=(

Melissa said...

"I just want some fucking ice cream." Can't imagine why you'd be denied. You ask so politely.

Hetty/Heady? I don't get it ...

Oh wait, yes I do! Good one. :)

The One and Only A said...

That was more a thought process than an utterance, Melmac. =o)

Isabella Snow said...

When I did this meme it was amazing how many lascivious sentences showed up!

The One and Only A said...

It's because Isabella is a sexy name, methinks. =o)

Sugar Kane said...

I think I would strongly desire to not end up in a NY prision too. You definitly won't get any ice cream there. Now a replacement for Hetty, that's another story.

Anonymous said...

I typed in "Elisha desires" and all I got was stuff to do with bible because apparently I have a males name and I was some bigwig bible dude..


hmpf


and yes I am stalking you from Flickr

The One and Only A said...

LOL, Sugary Wondah! Yeah, I think you may have a point. ;-)

Welcome, Rumbly! Drag up a chair! =) And how the heck is "Elisha" a dude's name? Maybe it's a variation of "Elijah?" I dunno. Hmph, indeed. ;-)

The One and Only A said...

LOL, Elisha. I just did it with your name and, yes, you got screwed on this one. Maybe if you tried "Elisha wants?"

Terry said...

Terry desires a new post from Adam :) lol

Sugar Kane said...

So, I googled myself with 'need', and apparently I need money to buy a new skateboard. It has been awhile since I've taken my old one for a spin, but I'm a little partial to it, so I think I'll buy shoes instead.

I also need to keep my trap shut about things I know nothing about. Now that is just crazy talk!

The One and Only A said...

@ Terry: Yeah, I've been slacking, lately. I'll have one up here soon. =o)

@ Sugary: If and when you get your new skateboard, be sure to only operate it whilst wearing a helmet and elbow and knee protectors. :-/ We don't want you skinning a knee, you know!

Anonymous said...

I tried it with wants and then it was a let down. Still on the bible track. So then I tried "needs" and "is" and I got a lot of repsonses involving Elisha Cuthbert and Paris Hilton. I'm happy to settle for that.

Terry said...

hehe I was just busting on you. It seemed like it fit. :)

The One and Only A said...

Hell yeah, Rumbly! You go, grrrrrrrl! ;-) It's a lot better than all that Bible-thumping bidness that was going on, huh? And lot more--in my opinion--pleasing to look at! =o)

Terry: Indubitably. And so I posted tonight, right after Lebron James ripppppppped the heart right outta my chest. :*(