Have ye heard the one about the 400-pound gorilla? Damn if that doesn't sound like a joke. I particularly liked this line in the article: Children cowered in their parents' arms as the gorilla loped past. "As the gorilla loped past." In my book, any time you can work a "loped" into a story, you're ahead of the game. Kudos, Associated Press reporter, kudos.I feel that I can joke about this because no one died. Had someone died at the hands of the escaped gorilla, I think I would have bitten my tongue. Probably. Maybe. Wow. Just think about it, though. You're at the zoo, eating an elephant ear, slurping on a soda, injesting a hot dog--whatever--and, all of a sudden, you look up to see a massive humanoid-like carbon life form blasting through a food court, scattering tables and chairs like kindling. Ho. Lee. Shit.
Chimpanzees are strong enough! Can you imagine the strength that a 400-pound gorilla possesses?!
And, as often happens, life imitates art: The gorilla snagged a woman "by the forearm" as he "loped past," perhaps thinking himself the king of Kongs? I'll bet dollars to lugnuts, though, that the woman was not as hot as Charlize Theron or the other, primary, Beauty, which was who, again? I forgot. Faye something? Day something? Sandra Day O'Connor?! Good Lord! I hope not! Although, if truth be told--and why stop now?--I think Sandra Day, back in the day, was probably as hot as a Fourth of July firecracker. I'd have to liked to crack her safe. Wink, wink.
Nudge, nudge.
Anyway. Here are some words to live by: Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars; don't let your head swell and watch out for 400-pound gorillas. If we all can manage that, the world will be a better place.
13 comments:
Faye Raye. Sheesh, Adam. Everyone should know that :-D
I *knew* it was some "Ay"-sounding name! :P
LMAO. That fucking rocks. Of course, im only laughing cause no one died... ;-)
Good words to live by NINdeed.
Cheers
Missile: Can you imagine? =o) And, yes, 'tis good that no one was gorilla-ized.
Nocturnal: Cheers to you, too, sir. NINdeed, indeed.
How does a 400lb gorilla get loose?
I don't know Sugar; how *does* a 400-pound gorilla get loose? ;-)
[waits for punchline, arms folded]
My guess is a banana daiquiri and some Davy Jones.
LOL, Sugary! That was a damned good one! =-)
[runs to Google Davy Jonez]
[er, *sits* to Google Davy Jonez]
Davy Jones, from "The Monkees." My God, how could I have been so dense? :*(
Don't feel bad. We can't all be as incredibly cool as I am. Or am I incredibly lame? I am making Monkee jokes after all.
Incredibly cool and witty.
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