You never know who might be watching.I have an admission to make. I have watched pornography before. Sometimesp--gasp!--I watch it on my computer. I came to a realization about a week, week-and-a-half ago that my neighbors' window looks directly down upon my computer room. And their oft-used side door is, oh, about ten feet from the window. This is not good. I like to walk around semi-clothed (or nekkid) sometimes. It is more comfortable and it is in the privacy of my own home, and whatnot. The thing is? I have been getting some really weird looks from the People Who Live Next Door. Originally, when I moved in, it was an 89-year-old woman who lived there. And, yes, she still lives there. But now, unfortunately, her daughter or a full-care nurse (?) lives there. And the old woman's son (?) visits often.
A cold draft emenates from The House Next Door, now. Though I have tried to be amiable--in fact, smiled and waved--my genial parries have been met with a iciness that would make Frosty the Snowman blush. Once, when I was driving to work, the daughter/nurse (?) was sitting on the porch sucking down a cigarette. I waved as I passed. And she basically blanched. Her hand rose in a tentative wave and I shrugged it off and continued on to work. [I'm laughing as I type this, by the way.] It was almost as if my friendliness had offended her, in some way. What in the world..? Heaven's to Betsy! Leapin' lizards!
Maybe she (or he, or both) caught a glimpse through the thinly-curtained windows and saw something that she (or he, or both) should not have seen. If that be the case, I humbly offer my apologies--and then rip said apologies right back. I am far from sorry. In fact, truth be told, I'm a little pissed. If I want to introduce the Monkey Bishop to Miss Michigan--in the languid comfort of my own home--I'll be damned if I have to do whilst my head spins as if on a swivel! It kinda breaks the concentration, truth be told.
Shit. That's it. My auto-erotic digital voyeurism is forever ruined, besmirched, tainted, by The People Who Live Next Door. I think Wes Craven made a movie about that once. Who knows.
By the way, if God didn't want the hmm-haw to be hmm-hawwed by the hmm-hawwer...he'd have put hands on elbows.
17 comments:
That last sentence is pure genius! Next time just tell em to shove it...maybe the nurse/daughter is just concerned that you've discovered videos of her on Limewire! HAHA
Damn nosey neighbors ;0p You have every right to do as you please in your own home. Perhaps, if your *ahem* concentration is disturbed by their intrusion you could invest in some mini blinds (not that you should have to)
I agree. If they don't want to see anything they need to stop looking through your window.
Speaking of nosy neighbors. My apartment has smallish windows. I'm thinking that I might need spy cameras .. uh .. I mean .. security cameras to keep a better eye on my ridiculously hot .. I mean, trouble making neighbors. ;-)
Thanks T-zah. I'm basically regarding them with a "shove-it" attitude. But who knows if i even have a reason to be irked? I'm-a just goin on a hunch, here.
Lil Missy: Hi! Hope things are going better for you! I actually have thought about mini-blinds. I wonder how much they are?
Jay: Here's an idea--take pictures of your "toublemaking" neighbors and send to my email address. ;-) Just joking. That would make me hypocritical. Send them don't send them send them don't send them. :-O
Ha! You rule Adam!
BTW, there is a house available across the way,--one in which I can have a perfect view with some 'noculars--wanna move? ;)
Ha Ha!
I think it's everyman(and woman)'s right to walk around naked in their own home if they want to. :D
Neighbours are a pain in the ass, the people across from me can see right into my bedroom. It sucks.
Nighthawk: Sure, I'll be there in a month or two...just give me time to shore up legalities here. =o)
Oestre: [in Barry White basso]The Bedroom of...Love?
Missy's right, mini-blinds would do the trick. They're like $4 at Meijers, easy to install, and you really only need the one set, right?
I think you should give the neighbors a wave, close the blinds, and blast some bow-chicka-bow-wow music whenever you want to mess with them. Or with yourself.
LOL, Melissa. LOL, indeed. =o)
Let me know if she moves, I might need to move soon myself. :)
Terry: :-P Will do.
Quidys: Yeah, it's tough to do, isn't it? Pornography has so deeply-saturated our society, that--yes, I FULLY intended to use "deeply" and "saturated" in regards to porn. ;-)
I masturbated twice today! And I masturbated to porn I downloaded via Internet! And it's developing into a habit since I'm single...
Talking about neighbours? Everyone walking past our block can look into me windows, not forgetting parents! ...try wank in those extreme situations! I'm an extreme wanker, I am...
I am never, EVER reading your site before I go to bed. You were in my dream last night (I, however, just an innocent bystander), and, well... It's not something I feel comfortable talking about here on your blog. Hahaaaa. Yeaaaah. Just wanted to share that with you. :)
Corwin: Thanks for the information, LOL. I *do* indeed look up to you for your superhuman concentration. That takes some balls, m'man.
KId: So...I don't want to know what I was doing in that dream? :-O Now I have a burning desire to knwo! Send it to adambomb1973@ hotmail.com. It sounds...uh...interesting. =o)
Heh, the same thing happened to me last weekend only on a different front. I rarely watch porn but love gore. I ended up with a raised eyebrow from my neighbours teenage daughter who just shook her head and said "That's You."
Cheers
"Hostel?" "Saw 1-3?" "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning?" They all bring their own deviant brilliance to the table. I've seen a lot--a HELL of a lot--of gory movies, but the only time I gagged was when Leatherface peeled that dude's face off in "TCM: Beginning." That says something, all right.
hahaha.. that's funny
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