Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.Oh! But!
I heard recently that there was a more-concerted effort to portray Santa Claus, good ole Saint Nick, in a more health-conscious way. I'm serious. I heard that the general consensus was that Kris Kringle was too fucking fat and that the little kiddies who look up to him may become unduly influenced towards an unhealthy lifestyle. Instead of milk and cookies, some do-gooders are pushing the celery-on-a-plate-approach.
[screeech]
Stop the phonograph, please. I'd like to get off. And maybe perhaps bang my head against a brick wall.
We are talking about the big elf from the North Pole, here, right? From at least 1863, when a German immigrant named Thomas Nast illustrated A Visit From Saint Nicholas, Santa has been seen as being jolly and fat. Why turn him into a porn star now?
Why do we as a nation need to slice away the fat and wrinkles and brandish him with a six-pack stomach and a penchant for eating raw vegetables? If we do that, I think we're also going to have to get rid of the pipe, man. Smoking stinks! Yuck!
I don't think that children are making life decisions based upon the portrayal of a gift-bearing elf, but if they are? Perhaps their parents should step in and es'splain to them that what other people do with their lives (read: eating milk and cookies) is just fine and dandy but "in this house, we do it this way."
This country has gotten far too protective of its children. From the ubiquitous bicycle helmet to receiving a trophy regardless of where they finish in a given competition, the kids here are getting bubblicized.
Bubblicized: [bub-bul '-i-sized] verb *The over-insulation of a seemingly-weaker member of the species, so as to protect from harm and/or the slightest adversity. So named for the bubble wrap that is packaged with electronics to protect units from damage during transit.
15 comments:
I'm thinking the bike helmets aren't such a bad idea, actually? But I see your point on the other stuff :) Being reasonable is good - and each parent is responsible for their own child! OY!
True, true. =o) Bike helmets save lives and all that, but I just remember back int he day when we kids used to tear around without them. In fact, I wiped out more than a few times. Hard. And hit my head on a few occasions. Come to think of it...wait, what was I saying, again?
;-)
Merry Christmas, Muirnie. May the upcoming year be your best evah.
Oh I don't know. Kids around here where I live were asked to draw a picture of Jesus and they all drew a guy who was a blue-eyed blonde Southerner.
So, if Jesus can look like Brad Pitt why can't Santa?
Santa and Jesus are Americans, right?
Merry Christmas dude!
We never had bike helmets when we were wee, wouldn't be without one now though.
It's not just america, it's over here too. The year I left school they made it that you couldn't 'fail' a test, it got marked as a 'non achievement'.
Utter bollocks.
Oh my word....seriously??? That's sillyness...pure silly!
I saw that porn once. ;)
Give me a break, next thing you know they will insist the ol' EB (easter bunny) stops bringing chocolate. :O
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas A!
Oh, when did you change your words at the top? I'm just noticing the change--haha, you can't assemble a nerf hoop! Ok, I'll shut up, I can't assemble a sentence.
It is ridiculous. Additionally, it's stupid. Especially that whole trophy-for-everyone, YAY-YOU-ALL-WIN approach. I mean, don't demean your children, but when they think they win all the time, they get an inflated sense of self, which isn't grounded in anything real, which leads to the type of aggression that leads to violent crimes.
(End Psychology Major Rant Now)
Jay: Haha. Good point. When i was younger and going to a Catholic K-9 school, I never really questioned the Brad Pitt Jesus. But when I got older, I was like, hey, wait a minute: Jesus was from the Middle East, man. He'd have been pretty dark and swarthy, right?
Bunny: A "non-achievement." Puh-lease. That's like calling a car accident a "not-the-best example of what one could do as a driver." Bollocks, indeed. :-P
Sporky: Silliness, sure...but i think it's more bollocky than anything else. LOL
Nighthawk-y: I had a good Christmas, 'Hawk. Hope you did, too. And I'm pretty sure that "Shrinking the Claus-Meister" was *not* a porn. I think you were thinking of "The Claus-Meister Cometh...Again and Again and Again and Again." That one won a hell of a lot of awards at the 2003 AVA ceremonies. ;-)
Stinging-Words Nighthawk: Yup! I couldn't! And neither could Meegie and my sister Alexis and my BIL Sean. So...uh, there! PWN :-P
Caleal: The absolute *last* thing we need as a nation is a over-inflated sense of self...says the dude who once glossed himself "The One and Only A." :-P And, seriously, any time you want to break out some poppy psych 2K8, by all means, do. =o) 'Twould be my pleasure to read it, lass.
Hi! I used to be Melissa, but now I'm A.B. :)
They're messing with Santa now? That's just unwholesome!
Did you hear they FIRED a Santa for saying "ho ho ho" because it's "offensive to women"?
There's plenty of room here at the head-banging wall for those who wish to join me...
Fabulous post.
That fat bastard needs to remain fat. If he's not fat, I can't catch him and make him pay up for all the years he stiffed me on toys.
In other news, your dogs are quite handsome.
I didn't realize you were actually IN Royal Oak. Hallo, neighbor!
I'm totally with you. Kudos to you. I hate how protective some parents are. I mean, I'm a little protective, but not to the extreme of wanting Santa to "lose weight" and leaving him sticks of celery.
Incidentally, you shop at *my* shitty little Hollywood, where I go tromping around, pretending it's the Holiday, asking where the fucking foiegras is. Or whatever.
Maybe one day, you'll walk in and find a fat chick talking to the coffee grinder in the corner. Then you'll think, "Holy shit, it's that crazy Fritz!"
And you'll run!
Ambitious Blonde: Fired for saying "Ho, ho, ho"?! I sure hope that there was a least SOMETHING else to that story. Otherwise, I'll have to double my head-banging azntics...and it's starting to hurt. :-O
Hi Fritz! Hello, neighbor. Yup, born and raised and now back in Royal Oak. And if I see you near the coffee grinder, I'll have to first genuflect (internet celebrity in my midst!) and then elbow you aside for the coffee. Must. Have. My. Java. ;-)
Mrs. Wilson: I agree. Being protective of the little rugrats is just basic human instinct, but sometimes people take it too far. =o)
I totally agree on the bubble wrapped kid theory. What is wrong with learning things the hard way and not always making the team? It builds character and discipline. nuff said.
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