MEMES--AN APOLOGY

I was tagged by the lovely and talented Izzy, over at Smut in G Major, to do a meme on "Sexual Firsts." I, egged on by my sophomoric sense of humor, decided to change Firsts to Fists and then go off on an undelineated tangent on fisting--kind of. I also wrote about the llama in my mom's basement and the fact that I live in my mom's basement (under the ping-pong table), and the fact that I have never kissed anyone, ever, in my life.

Those allusions are all patently untrue.

If I gave anyone the idea that the meme was truly about fisting I, first, apologize and, second, strongly advocate your getting your head out of your ass.

I feel bad, though, that some people might have been stupid enough to actually believe that Miss Snow sent me a meme on fisting. She never did. She sent me a meme on sexual firsts. That's it.

Maybe the reason I fudged around with the meme is because I feel ashamed of my penis, and the fact that it's only seven inches long, five inches around. I feel that that is an embarrassment to men in general, yet, it swings between my legs. I can't improve it. Weights and pumps don't work. It is what it is. :-\

I also should have taken into account, when I received the tag, that Izzy is a paid sex columnist. There was also a link--in the rules of the meme--that shot the clicker back to Sex Talk For Men, assuredly an online column. I didn't think, whilst I was gleefully typing, about the career ramifications that could have been incurred had Someone read the linkages back to my post.

I would never intentionally try to put words in others' mouths, but, in this case, that is exactly what I did. It was Firsts not Fists! Damn it! Oh, God! How could I have been so foolish?!

Fuck.

Let this be a lesson to you, though! Never--never--try to inject humor into a blog-post. It could be misinterpreted. =[