I need one more fan. If I had that single fan, all would be right with the world. The fan that I used to have here in the den--blowing cool air and keeping my gray matter from overheating as I flibberdash at the Bench of Computation--now resides in the bedroom, where it blows cool air on me as I slumber.Just one more fan--and I'll be golden.
Mother Michigan threw us foolz a 12-to-6 curveball, wherein she completely--it seems--bypassed Spring, buffeting us from under-average temperatures to sodden balmy ball-dropping moist heat.
[It's not the heat; it's the humidity.]
Thanks, Mother Michigan! :-D
At work on Friday, as I wielded a shovel and fused plastic gas services, I had a female co-worker use the fact that I sweat profusely and the word "disgusting" in the same sentence. "So, what are you saying?" I asked her. "Are you calling me disgusting?"
She laughed. Really quickly, she said, "Geez. You sound like Eminem. No no no no. I'm just saying, 'Jesus Christ, man! You've been dripping all day!' You sweat a ton. Maybe you should get that checked out."
Me, psuedo-haughtily: "It's the body's cooling mechanism."
"Yours is in overdrive."
I nodded. Laid shovel to earth.
So...that is me in Summer. Imagine a sun-baked flesh-colored ice cube, the size of a 195-pound man. Slap an "Adam" nametag on the beast. Imagine the omnipresent (some may even say preternatural) faucet-like drip. Dripping from the brim of the baseball cap. Dripping from the brim of the hardhat. Dripping from the smooth bald pate. Dripping from the eyebrows. Dripping into the eyes. Dripping from the fingertips, for God's sake! (Rice wine.) Making denim thighs slippery and shiney.
Me in Summer. Adam. Cube-Man.
Coobadam, am I. So, um, when's Fall, again?
10 comments:
I went and got a little 6 inch fan this afternoon. It's just sooooo hot and stupid .. er .. humid here and I needed one for the living room while I'm getting my TV watching on. I could carry the one from the bedroom back and forth, but that's way too much effort.
Just got two fans today at Lowe's, both reasonably priced! One is a box fan, something like two feet across, and the other is a standing oscillating fan. They're already in use.
P.S. You can't help sweating when it's 90 degrees and you're wearing denim. Ain't no way.
My apartment is air-conditioned, so I never really took much notice of the heat until I went home for a few days to an un-air-conditioned house. It was terrible. I sweated from pores I didn't even know I had.
Now that I'm back in my icebox of a room, I'm turning the thermostat down to 60 and not going outside again until Thanksgiving.
I like the slippery, shiny thighs...
I lost all other thoughts I was going to post here...
Down in Arkansas, Jay? I can imagine how hot it is! Yikes!
Missy: Reasonably priced?! Sweet! =-) I could go for a tall oscillating one, too. I'd put it in my bedroom and put the other one back in the den.
Frank: Yeah, I grew up in an un-air-conditioned house, too. Then I moved to an apartment which had AC and now I live in this house that has central air. I've become quite fond of the conditioned air, don'tcha know.
JenBun: "Slippery shiney thighs...." Yeah, I could see how those words could mess up some trains of thought! ;-P
Er...*shiny*.
maaan. i don't even want to TALK about "Mother Michigan" and her cruel sense of humor.
because for us? in the city i live in? it meant 70mph winds knocking down trees and telephone poles, and, well... no power. ALL WEEEKEND. yeah. not till sunday night around eight in the p.m. let me tell you, a pregnant girl trying to sleep with NO FANS in ninety degree heat and humidity? NOT COOL. haha. i did wise up, though, and head off to my dads for the following night. at least he had fans.
but anyway, i'm done whining. the a/c is back on and all is well with the world.
(also, hi!! how are you!!)
Hi, KId! =o)
I'm doing all right. Luckily (for me, that is) I lost not the power. That surely would suck, though, being pregnant and hot.
Hope the P-BOW (pregnancy-baby-on-way) is going well for you.
I like it when you drip...
And I, you, Meegie. =o)
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