your ashes rest right next to the television set
below, Oliver snorts his breaths on a double-bed
how long could I have waited?
i fear that i waited too long, you were all skinny
well, you were gangly as a puppy, too
all big-eared and big-headed and full of energy
i remember taking you roller-blading, but
you took me
long legs flexing, you carried me Home
Home is Love
Home is Peace
Happiness is Home
brindle, you were
and are, always in my mind
you're ashes now,
gray, in a plastic bag
but, to me, you'll always be brindled
Time has a way of diminishing
you were never diminished
Time has a way of culling defeat from victory
you were defeated only once
Time has a way of shellacking over past Glory
your Glory never left you
you were Strong
until your last day, you were strong
does it seem stoopid to poime to a doggy?
not to me, it doesn't
you were my Constant,
you were my Louie
and you'll always be
dogs have a way of implanting themselves into a human brain
a human mind
a human soul
dogs have a way of ingratiating themselves into a human Life
and, so, when the dog is gone
the presence is still felt
and leaves oh-so slowly
dogs are kids and babies and companions and
dogs are Love and Health and Compassion and
dogs are life-savers
dogs are saints
doG is God spelled backwards
feeling the wind in your face as you are pulled on 'Blades
behind a boxer-mix who thinks he's a huskey
dogs are Safety
dogs are always there
dogs are 24/7
dogs will come when called
sometimes, dogs are "bad"
getting in the garbage
treating the basement like a toilet
snapping at contractors
but dogs are oh-so good
dogs are dogs
end of story
but it ain't
when i saw you suffering, Louie,
i waited for a reason
"he's lost weight!"
"he's all skin and bones!"
"he sometimes loses his bladder in the house!"
(which, of course, you'd--on one hand--done before)
"he's not looking too well!"
"he's not looking too well!"
"but he still eats!"
"long live the Survivor!"
even Survivors have to succumb, eventually
your last week, i kept my eye on you
i watched: for differences, for malaise towards food and drink
eventually, it came
and i knew i had to make your decision for you
because you wouldn't
you'd have shrunk to nothing
your Survivor Spirit
was nothing less than amazing
it had to be done
it had to be done.
so i did it
and cried like a baby when you were shuffled off to buffalo
when, through injection, your heart quit
when, throughout it all,
i still remembered you as the gangly puppy
and the strong boy
and the Constant Companion, always
before that point in my life, i'd never shaken with Grief
(every day is an adventure, eh?)
i shook with Grief
i kissed you on your dead head and your dead ears and
smelled, one more time, what i could of you
(the olfactory sense is too-often overlooked)
and then i realized, through the help of meeg, that
it was time to go
i realized that it was time to leave you....
but i never will; you know that, right?
one last thing:
you know how, when you were sick, you still licked ollie's ears?
that, to me, was a denotation of what you were
ollie, the trouble-maker, ollie the oaf
you, in your sickness, were there for him
i saw it in your eyes, man
whenever i would get a little mean with ollie
your ears went back
you'd protect a brother over a pack leader
that meant a lot to me
(could i be personifying?)
(when don't i?)
maybe i am over-emotional
or maybe i am not
the bond that exists between a "master" and his "beast" is strong
i'll never forget, lou
love you, man
have fun at that self-proclaimed "rainbow bridge"
i'll see you when i see you
i'll see you on the Other Side
i love you, man
and i always will