DISSEMBLE NO MORE

It is interesting where shit turns up, sometimes. Earlier this week (Monday, to be exact) I made a lunch of two corned beef sandwiches with pickles as their accomplices. I ate one for lunch and saved the other--and a couple of pickles--for later. On the way home from work, I stopped at Little Caesar's and jigged out of the store (like the commercials) with a Hot-n-Ready. I'd thought that I put the left-over sandwich and pickles in the fridge to take to work on Tuesday. Well, Tuesday rolled around and the sandwich was nowhere to be found. Huh, I thought, maybe did I throw it away? I mentally shrugged and took some cold pizza to work to eat for lunch.

I never thought about the sandwich again. It drifted out of my mind, out of my life, like so many gossamer clouds on a summer's day.

Until today. Egads, like the cat, the sandwich came back! Dissemble no more! For I hear the beating of its dyed-pink meat heart! It is there! There, I say! Beneath the wood planks of the floor, I hear the beating of its hideous heart! Yeah. Uh, either that...or in the freezer. And, yes, I hear the pickles chiming in, too.

And, so...it went like this:

Meagan [looks stage-right, honestly perplexed]: "Um, Adam? Did you mean to put your sandwich in the freezer? Oh, and the pickles, too?"

I think my brain is turning to Cream of Wheat. I think that, sometimes (often, lately) I'm kind of a moron.

Talk about a blackout! Shit, I don't even remember putting that foodstuff in the freezer! I'm doomed, doomed I say! Doomed to live out the rest of my life putting things in weird places. Next I'll be putting my clothes in the toilet and flushing. Next I'll be storing my cell phone in the microwave. Next I'll be--verily!--putting my bread and cereal in the refrigerator! Oy vey.